Answer by Raakhee V. Menon:
Once I asked the same question (with slight variations) on Quora itself. The answers I received made me understand that I am indeed living in a world very different from the one around me.
Among many other justifications, I was told that using abusive language helps people ‘to express themselves’…though I cannot fathom for the life of me why a person has to resort to usage of vocabulary with sexual innuendos to ‘express’ themselves.
People these days use the ‘f’ word more often than they use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. And the most unsettling thing is that nobody even flinches at the mention of the word any more…me included. I don’t use any abusive/unparliamentary words ever. But it has come to be that I am tolerant of somebody who uses such crass language as a part of their normal conversation…well, as long as it isn’t directed at me, that is. If anybody calls me a ‘b’, the person is history. And I’m very strict about that. I won’t call anyone a ‘b’, and I won’t have anyone call me so either.
Some people think using the ‘f’ word amounts to them being ‘cool’. Or that it’s funny. Well, no it’s not. One person said that ‘it’s important to have a clean heart than a clean vocabulary’. I still don’t understand the correlation. Yet another person said that it helps them to ‘relieve stress’. Using a vulgar vocabulary helps relieve stress? Wow! What about meditation or music? Are they out of the stress-buster list? This generation never ceases to amaze me! Oh and one other person asked me what exactly it is about abusive words that irks me so much…is it the sound waves? -_-
Even now, if anybody writes a comment under any of my answers with the usage of any abusive words, I delete the comment immediately. I shall not have such uncouth words floating under my answers. No. And I am thankful to Quora for the ‘Delete’ function. They are my answers and I have every right to delete what I deem improper.
When I tell people that I don’t use such language, the reactions I get are funny and sad at the same time…
- You’re such a fake!
- You’re lying!
- Who are you trying to impress by acting like such an angel?
- Why are you so dramatic?
- Ugh! So old-fashioned! You talk like my grandmother!
- What’s wrong in saying F***? It’s no big deal…
People say they are being ‘informal & friendly’ when they use such words freely in front of friends. Well, the stronger friendships that existed among our older generations is proof enough that people didn’t really have to resort to vulgarity in their vocabulary to get close to people. Duh!
Nowadays, even teenagers use such words freely in front of their elders. Younger kids? Maybe even they do. My 8 year old nephew knew the ‘f’ word quite well, though I am not entirely sure if he knew what it meant. When it’s being used so freely among people, it’s only natural that young children pick up the words and use it themselves, whether they know the meanings or not.
There isn’t much we can do about all this. I ignore it when it isn’t addressed to me. If it persists, I just get up and leave. There’s no point trying to explain to people why you’re feeling uncomfortable.