Because even ‘in this 21st century’, girls are still considered to be a part of the husband’s family more than their own post marriage.
It’s like property transfer. The girl’s living rights are transferred to the mercy of the husband’s family which becomes hers the moment she gets married to him. But does this make the daughter any less of a daughter to the parents? No. She is still the little girl they brought up so tenderly. She is still the girl whose every wish they tried to fulfill in every way they could.
One fine day, when she is taken away to a new home, she is made to lose her identity and take on a new one. She goes away from their protective embrace. There is no guarantee that she would be accepted wholly into the midst of this new family… for in India, marriages are still between two families and not just two individuals. And it is a tad unsettling for me to say this, but the girl is expected to ‘adjust’ to her new family and do everything she can to carve a niche for herself within the nest. The boy is not specifically expected to harbor the same feelings towards his wife’s family. If he is cordial with them, he would be celebrated. So there is a clear imbalance here. This is because of the sickening patriarchial culture in a majority of communities in India. It’s way too deep set for anyone to anything about it… so much so that it is permanently set as a ‘part of Indian culture’ to do certain things, no matter how unfair they may seem.
So the least… the very least that the girl’s family can do is to be extra nice to the groom’s family in the expectation that they would treat their child well… that they would accept her into their midst… that they would give her their identity not simply by the surname alone but in spirit as well.
Images: Google images.